A people pleaser is someone who wants the people around them to always be happy. Sometimes people pleasers will become so invested in ensuring the satisfaction and happiness of those around them that they become intrusive pests, and other times they become a reliable workhorse.
One thing people pleasures never become is the successful leader that they dreamed of becoming before becoming burned out. To put it bluntly, if you want to avoid burnout, it’s time to stop being a people pleaser. There is no reward for being a people pleaser, but remember, it doesn’t mean you have to let go of your humanity; you just have to learn to recognize when it’s too much.
You Don’t Have to Do It
You really cannot do everything. Small business owners often think that they’re supposed to do everything, especially if they have an internet business. It makes sense to hire help if you own bricks and mortar business, but it’s a harder sale for someone working from home as a digital marketer, coach, or other professions.
But the fact is, not only do you not have to do everything, you should not do everything. No CEO ever does all their own work. No, successful CEOs and business owners come up with the ideas and pass tasks on to experts who churn the ideas out fast due to their expertise. Due to that, they tend to make more money without burnout.
Know Your Mission in Life
You must understand what your overall life goals are. You can be general in terms of the goals for your entire life, such as “not contributing to environmental pollution” or “not consuming animal products” or “saving time on content marketing for customers and clients.” If you know the goal, you can ensure that the actions you take are getting you closer to that goal or not.
Learn to Say Yes Slowly
When someone asks something new of you, don’t say yes or no. Say that you’ll think about it and give them a time when you’ll get back to them if they cannot wait then the answer defaults to no without you ever having to say no. Evaluate the tasks that you will need to be successful in the project and say yes only if it really aligns with your principles, morals, values, and mission.
Set Boundaries Using Time
One way to say yes more without getting burned out is to compartmentalize and schedule your time better. For example, if you really do want to help feed the homeless, but you’re strapped for time, just let the organization know that you can either donate money or you can spend from 11 am until 2 pm once a week only. Remember that doing something in conjunction with others adds up and that you don’t have to take on every project or cause on your own by yourself. Set time boundaries and do a little, and it’s enough.
Drop Manipulators from Your Life
Everyone has someone in their life that will try to make them feel guilty for not doing what they want you to do. If you have someone like that in your life who revolts when you reclaim your time, it’s time to let them go from your life. This is not something that is mean, or that has to be announced just slowly separate yourself from that situation by saying no.
Keep Your Empathy Intact
When you start learning to stand up for yourself, and your own time, it can begin to feel as if you don’t care about others to yourself. You are used to being the one who helps everyone and is always available, and it will feel hard at first. But realize if you are cognizant of putting your health first, your principles, morals, and values next and keep the impact of your actions, I mind you’ll be just fine.
You Can’t Be Everything to Everyone
It’s just a fact of life that you’re only one person with limited time just like everyone else. There is no prize for ruining your life, or health, to be everything to everyone. Plus, you’ll fail because it’s impossible. Instead, be everything to yourself and kind to everyone else without laying down your life for them.
Once you accept that you don’t have to be a people pleaser to be a kind, caring human being, it will become much easier for you to set the boundaries you need to set in order to become successful in your business, your job, and your relationships.